Harlots Parlour

The Sex Industry Blog – For Media Enquiries please call us on 020 7175 0180 or email dearharlot@gmail.com


There is a dark side to sex worker activism which everyone knows about but most are too frightened to speak about. Bullying to silence, frighten and dismiss the voices of sex workers who do not accommodate a paralysing political stranglehold that oppresses freedom of speech.


I have been the victim of such bullying for ten years on line, on sex worker lists, in articles by other so called sex worker activists. I have also witnessed the abuse of other activists who have dared stand up to this small clique of bullies in sex worker meetings, places that pretend to be sex worker safe environments.

Sex worker activists and whole groups are excluded from so called activist activities because the bullies will only accommodate within their activism one voice/opinion/politics. To have a differing opinion, a different politics or to not fit their ideal of an appropriate social/political profile will mean that you are excluded, ignored or bullied into silence.

This is one example of the abuse I received last night.

@whoreseyeview @pastachips @dfharlot but u embody radical praxis shitcunt

Most sex workers (there are a number) who do not meet the social and political profiling criteria remain silent; do not speak on lists or forums and usually blog alone. They often do the best stuff. Most are women (and a few men). Those people are usually discreet about their politics but even so they have to be careful. One wrong move and they would feel the wrath of the bullies.

I have become fairly well known in sex worker activism in the UK. Harlots is a popular blog. I am a man, a sex worker in a relationship with a man who is, horror of horror, an escort agent, and sadly my politics does not match a leftist/anarchist profile popular with many of the bullies. I am an easy target and to a point I accept that. What is worrying however is that these bullies are often encouraged by those who take a leading role in activism and are allowed to bully by authority figures who never seem to reprimand them but sometimes reward them with high profiles in/with activism/jobs/grants for their groups.

It was interesting to note for example that in one “bullying” tweet directed at me last night that ”Luca” ( he uses several surnames) was mentioned as obviously enjoying the abuse I was receiving.

@whoreseyeview @TrashPrincessss @dfharlot Just run this past my pal Luca, who DF has always hated. We are shaking with laughter at DF.

Luca I mention because he runs SWOU (sex worker open university) which is a collaboration of mostly leftist/anarchist sex workers/allies also involved with ECP and X-talk and who seems to be now involved with ScotsPep the Scottish organisation run by Ruth Morgan Thomas who is also one of the leading figures in NSWP and ICRSE. He is an old adversary and friends with some of those who have been involved in recent twitter hate campaigns. He is also someone “formally” accused of bullying in the GMB sex worker branch and who is now a very well known figure in sex worker rights.

A small militant group in the UK and internationally have been engaged for many years in silencing voices and intimidating opposition to their understanding of sex worker activism. No one does anything about it and questions should be asked why it is tolerated.

I have personally endured these bullies for many years and they are often scary if in a crazed manic way. Be assured no matter how abusive they are they will not silence either myself or Harlots. On Harlots all sex workers regardless of status, politics, faith, ethnicity or orientation will be allowed to post about their lives. Sometimes they will say things that I will not agree with. I will post things others will not agree with. What I will never tolerate is bullying or the manipulations of sex worker voices by manipulative and disruptive groups or individuals.

I live in the North East of England and I meet and socialise with a variety of sex workers. Real sex workers who sell sex to feed their families, pay rents and mortgages, lead the lives of ordinary people. I have little interest in the political Primadonna’s who enter sex work because they have fallen out with their rich daddies (I could mention names but won’t) or for whom sex work is just another add on to a list of anarchist/leftie clichéd part time (ohh look I take drugs am I not rebellious) types who sadly litter activism.

If truth were known most sex workers are just too dam busy to be bothered with activism and most run a mile when they see the sort of people involved. Activism is its own worst enemy in the west, something I point out often and yes get abused for it. One day there will be a force within activism that will be truly inclusive and welcoming and which all sex workers, activists and just the normal sex worker with two point two kids and a Pekingese  can be proud to be involved in. Until then we all must fight the bullies and carry on regardless as they say.


I have taken just a “few” of the tweets directed at myself last night to illustrate some of the constant abuse thrown at sex workers ( in this case me) by the bullies within sex worker activism.







About Douglas Fox


  1. Cathy Greggan
    28 May, 2013

    I’m not about to take sides..sorry. This has become a bitch-fight now and of all things, a cyber-space-fight on top of things. Someone defintely feels threatend here, and I don’t really buy it being only you. Your enemy has banned you now, what the fuck is that about? Kindergarden!!

    • Douglas Fox
      28 May, 2013

      I dont understand ” your enemy has banned you ?

  2. Cathy Greggan
    28 May, 2013

    he has removed you from NSWP or at least said he did.

  3. Cathy Greggan
    28 May, 2013

    They have rermoved you from NSWP, or at least said they did. Wanted to post the rules about why. I find this all a real shame.

  4. Douglas Fox
    29 May, 2013

    No one should have to take sides. Those with authority should be dealing with the situation by condemning all bullying, name calling and telling of lies. They are not. Pulling my post and removing me from the list is just saying that they condone what has happened.

    I have not outed any sex workers. Every sex worker tweet has outed themselves on twitter for anyone to see. Luca and Ruth Morgan Thomas are out in the public more than I am. No one has been outed.

    I should with confidence be able to go to those in authority in private but when they remain silent they condone the appalling stuff that was said about myself. Not one word of reproach was EVER offered against those people by those with authority on either NSWP or Coyote. Even when one said “why is he even alive”…If I had said this about another sex worker or activist (and I never would) I would expect to be thrown out,,,, but not a word of condemnation by those who should be moderating such behaviour…. in fact the moderator agreed with the behaviour. What does that say about sex worker rights activism.

    When people like LilitheMagdelin says “Makes money off the backs of women…I spit on all men who do…..what does that say to the public? to anti’s, to other sex workers, to women who work through third parties, who are the majority of sex workers…And not a word said about their language or behaviour.

    And worse it is a lie..about me and these lies were condoned by the silence of those in authority.

    There is a very serious issue here that needs to be addressed and it has nothing to do with taking sides.

    And worse AGAIN was the fact that these bullies abused not only me but have a history of bullying especially male sex workers ( not just me or Steve escort who was the main target of their abuse). Male sex workers were grouped together as privileged and then condemned for not joining in the bullying… It does not suggest that sex worker rights is a welcoming or an inclusive place and again that is a problem that those in authority should be dealing with.

    So once again no one should have to take sides in this….


  5. JB
    29 May, 2013

    Having been on the receiving end of bullying by other activist I can see where you are coming from and I can feel for you.

    It saddens me that these people purport to represent sex workers but actually only represent a small minority. The majority chose to keep quiet to avoid the abuse from daring to disagree.

  6. Ariane
    29 May, 2013

    Interestingly I experienced a lot of similarities in rhetorics by anti-trafficking activists and some self-declared sex worker activists. Its about domination and power. In both cases it fosters silencing. Scared. I also dislike maternalism and paternalism, power play, rumors, all kinds of verbal abuse and ideological attacks. No signs of tolerance, nor acceptance. I abhor terrorism and all the ways that pave the way to violence. My voice has gone from me. I complete my appointments I already made in the next few weeks, disciplined, like a brave soldier. Then I m out of activism. Other challenging tasks await me. Which … I dont know but I m optimistic.

    • Douglas Fox
      30 May, 2013

      You will be missed. I have followed a lot of things you have done. Hope you stay in touch with some of us at least 😦

      I have often said I want to give up. I want so much to sit and write and do a my erotic massage which love..but (and perhaps it is a man thing) the more they try to silence me and shove me out the more I am determined to stand against them and to do what I can for the sex workers I love.


  7. Douglas Fox
    30 May, 2013

    I am gathering evidence of bullying of sex workers by sex workers, especially in activism. This can be sent to dearharlot@googlemail.com . Any information will be totally confidential. The authorities must decide if bullying is behaviour that is acceptable between sex workers and especially those who out themselves in activism. If they do think such behaviour is acceptable then they must be judged themselves as being unsuitable for the positions they hold.

  8. veritasvincitbychloeharris
    5 June, 2013

    Reblogged this on Veritas Lux Mea and commented:
    Its a sad situation….

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s


This entry was posted on 27 May, 2013 by in Uncategorized.
%d bloggers like this: