Harlots Parlour

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Male Escorts

Cross-posted from my blog

Disclaimer: This is just my opinion and it may be wrong¹

If I had a penny for every time I’ve heard

I reckon I’d make a great male escort, don’t you think so?

I’d have a significant amount of pennies.

What’s your point/the problem? I hear you ask. Well, there are several, to be honest.

For starters, the men who have the most unshakeable belief that they would be perfect male escorts, tend to be the ones who are 5’2”, average lookingGigolo and (most importantly) humourless little personality vacuums. It’s a bit X-Factor (No, I don’t bloody watch it, but I’ve seen a few of the auditions). The ones who shout the loudest about how great they are turn out to be tone deaf and couldn’t carry a tune in a sodding wheelbarrow.

Whilst I won’t say there is no market for straight male escorts, I will tell you that it is a teeny tiny market and it is awash with bright eyed hopefuls. As far as I know, even the successful guys do it part time and have another job to pay the rent. My guess (and that’s all it is) would be that there is a small demand for two types of male escort.

  1. The educated, well spoken, reasonably handsome, good listener. The perfect gentleman who can listen to your problems, massage your feet, snuggle up on the sofa and can accompany you to any social occasion without drawing attention to himself for the wrong reasons and will have you fellow W.I. members frothing at the mouth with jealousy. Not because he’s a young stud, (women – in general – don’t really work like that. We would point, laugh and pour scorn upon the woman who turned up with a 20 year old shag toy. We expect women to keep a toy like that chained up in the bedroom where he belongs.) but because he was the perfect gentleman. The coveted Mr Darcy².
  2. The 20-30 year old buff, tanned shag toy. He needs to be skilled in bedroom department and damned easy on the eye. He won’t be taken out in public, but by Christ, he’ll be ridden hard and put away wet. Winking smile

The thing is though, that in general, women don’t want the first type to be a charade. We want a man to be all of those things to us because he wants to be. Not because we’ve just handed him a wad of twenties. The exception (of course) being school reunions or other gatherings which will include every snotty, snide, judgemental bitch we’ve ever wanted to get one up on, in which case we don’t care as long as they’re all dripping with jealousy. Unfortunately, by the time we are old enough and financially in the right place to go for the second type, an awful lot of women would be mortified to get naked in the company of a buff young man, just in case he is thinking “Oh my GOD! You’re so old and quite frankly a bit saggy!”. I mean, it’s all good fun until you catch him reaching for the Viagra and then there’ll be tears before bedtime, you mark my words. However, there’s always good lingerie, so ladies, if you happen to stumble across this post. Get yourself down to La Senza (other lingerie shops are available), get your twenties out and bloody go for it girl. You only live once, after all.

Anyway, the point I was going to make, which has got completely lost in an avalanche of waffle, is this. Boys, go for it if you want, but don’t rely on it for income. For instance, my ex – a tall strapping chap, pretty good looking, in his early 30s at the time – advertised his services. He’d seen what I was earning and decided that he wanted in on the action. He never made a sodding penny. Nothing. Not so much as an email or a call. Not even a timewaster. However, he missed a trick. He was bisexual and if he’d announced that in his advertising, things may have turned out very differently.  And THAT dear wannabe Male Escorts & Male Masseurs for Ladies from Gayescorts.com.  You wanna be a male escort? Fine, you go for it sweetie.

You wanna make real money as a male escort? Lube up, bend over and take one for the team! Winking smile

¹ I have been wrong before. 26th February 1997, if you must know.

² If Colin Firth ever does advertise his services, I will be going for a long booking faster than you can say “Hey! Who emptied the ISA?”

13 comments on “Male Escorts

  1. Douglas Fox
    30 August, 2011

    I had to smile at this. There is a large element of truth in this post.

    Having said that; from personal experience I know that women do use male escorts for themselves and do book male escorts for their husbands or partners; with them to watch or join in. It seems to be a growing trend.

    I also know that it is very common for western women to use the services of (usually) younger men in certain parts of the world (Turkey and parts of the Caribbean and Africa especially) where money certainly does exchange hands for services rendered.

    I also know of several very middle class women who have what they referred to as “arrangements” here in the UK.

    Women buy sex differently I think to men.

    Women prefer a more subtle approach to marketing of sex which makes the business much less brash and much less in your face. I doubt many women for example would be especially attracted to men sitting under neon lights in windows for example.

    There needs to be much more research and certainly less certainty from the anti side that only men purchase sexual services.

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  4. Selina
    31 August, 2011

    Managed to spill coffee over my laptop from the giggles. I haven’t come across a ‘Mr Darcy’ male escort page… surely this is a gap in the market? On another note, I’m working with Current TV and Jesper Films at the moment and looking for male escorts and woman that have/might/considered using them. Would be very grateful if anyone of those above could get in touch. This documentary is exciting, presented by a male escort who’s about to get into the field (and I’ll be strongly recommending he names himself ‘Darcy’). Please get in touch, forward, text, tweet, peck others who might be interested and I’ll happily give you more info – selina@jesperfilms.co.uk or 0753 086 1892

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  6. FYI … I have been a male escort my whole adult life and through most of my teenage years… Fact: I HAVE NEVER HAD A CALL FROM A WOMAN UNLESS SHE IS PROMTED BY A MAN.. It’s usually so e cl

  7. Usually some closet queen urging on some unknowing fag hag so he can get a Lil Rick without the guilt…23 years as a very successful me escort in Vancouver Bc Canada…. I can tell you the most str8 hopeful can wish for is to be the top…. So your still plugging gay ass…. And sad as it is to say… Condoms are frowned upon… Usually … Well your payed more if you forget em…. I suggest if you wanna make a living and stay housed n clothed.. N fed demand them … In the long run … You ll be the one laughing… But yes u will definately have to switch teams cuz con artists and gay for pay though sound do g hot don’t cut the mustard or cheese or what have you

    Zakk x punkrockjock

  8. Gigolo Jake
    8 March, 2013

    An old post…but I have only just come across it. Thought I would give you the perspective of a truly straight male escort. I’m in Vancouver like Zakk…but I am straight only. I have been in the business for more than 15 years so a lot of experience too. (Just in case you have any doubts, there are 20 or 30 female service providers in town that I know and/or have worked with that will verify my history both in terms of experience and also in only providing straight services)

    Thought it would be worth adding a couple of points:

    1. There is a market but success is all about repeat business. To get clients to see you 5 or 6 times a year, or more, and do so for years on end, you need to be both Mr. Darcy and the young stud. Most of my clients want intelligent conversation over a glass of wine and then they want sex they can’t reliably get from picking up a guy on the street. That is the key … women can pick up a man in seconds … of course how fast depends on where she sets her standards…but you never know what you are going to get, both in personality and performance.

    2. Yes, I have a day job…but I average 2 or 3 clients per week and I don’t try and get more. I don’t do viagra so I have to be fresh and enthusiastic about every session. 3 clients a week is not enough to live on…but I could if I had to.

    3. Women don’t work “by the hour” so I don’t have hour long sessions, etc. Men are like light switches…on and off. Women are not generally. So, I have no time limits and set my donation rates as per session. This way, we can take all the time that is required for the client to be comfortable with me. Due to that time investment, I probably make the same or maybe even a bit more per client than a female in the business.

    4. The last point I have is for all the guys who email me asking me how to get into the business and how to get clients. Funny you would ask me that…of course I’m not going to help my competition, but I do have some advice. Perhaps a little narcissistic on my part, but pay attention to the message.

    You have to seduce every client…without showing them your cock. 75% of my clients are couples and you need to be OK with him watching or joining in. Half of my couples want to try DP as their number one fantasy. Are you ready for that? You need to be just a little bigger and last a little longer than any other guy she has ever been with. Further, when the client is done, so are you. In other words, I leave without having an orgasm 50% of the time. It isn’t about me, it is about the client so when they are done off you go. Remember, most often their husband is right there and he doesn’t give a shit about whether you get off or not…so off you go. Prepare to have a long conversation before hand…particularly on the first meeting…and perhaps even afterwards (common for the single female clients). Finally, be prepared to wear a condom every time and for everything. You won’t be getting head from many clients and even those that will do it will want you wrapped. If I see 100 clients in a year, 1 or 2 may go down on me.

    Finally, if you are successful in making a market for yourself and building up a clientele, you also need to be prepared for the fact that you wont be getting much sex in your personal life. Yeah, try dating a woman and then explaining where you are every Saturday night…why you shower all the time…why your cock is sore, or you just don’t feel like it because you’ve had 3 clients in a row.

    The result…99.9% of the men out there that think they can be an escort simply can’t do it. Many of you come and go and some even put in a good effort. Having a couple of clients try you out because you are a new flavour in town doesn’t really count. Put some cash in the bank every month for a couple of years and then you can join the club.

    Just want to throw out there that I was originally inspired to get into the business by http://www.gigolojess.com/ He was doing this job for 10 years back when I started in the mid 90’s. He is still in the business as far as I know.

    Good luck…have fun and be safe!


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  10. Irfan
    14 May, 2013

    I want to be male escort . Can anyone help me to be . I will wait for reply

  11. Ben Batterham
    9 September, 2013

    My name is Ben, im28.
    I’m interested in becoming a male escort.
    But don’t know how to go about it.
    I believe I have what it takes. I’m hoping to be able to make put my words into action.
    Thank you

  12. perth male escort
    13 January, 2015

    I love this post about male escorts, i’m also a male escorts so i know male escorts a very complicated job. Ilove this job.

  13. Rene
    25 January, 2015

    Feeling like a Natural Woman

    The first social scientific study about female clientele
    of gigolo’s based on in-dept interviews.
    What are the demands and sexual desires ?


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This entry was posted on 29 August, 2011 by in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , .
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